Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
