Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's Friday. Sex?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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