i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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