my mouth tastes like poor choices
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
