He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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