It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
