I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
