I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
