is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
