chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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