i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
