You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
