bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
