dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
