I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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