your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
