Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
