so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
