i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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