Christians are straight up FREAKS
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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