I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
