She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
