you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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