Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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