i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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