Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
