I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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