Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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