my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
