There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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