i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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