I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
