Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
