glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize