I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
