Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize