I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
