I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
