i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think i got beer on your cat.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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