I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Life is so much better after having sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
