You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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