She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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