therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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