69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
