Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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