dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I am naked and annoyed.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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