I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
