my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
