on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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