Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize