remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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