I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
