If i come over, it means nothing
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
