When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
