my mouth tastes like poor choices
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
