oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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