why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
