no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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